


Acquaintance

by strawberrysunday



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Zombie Apocalypse, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2018-06-18
Packaged: 2018-10-27 02:03:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10799397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawberrysunday/pseuds/strawberrysunday
Summary: It was supposed to be just another night at the Grimes' house, where Negan always spends all of his weekends with some other friends, Dwight and Sherry. But this night wasn't a usual one. This was the night where he finally gets to meet Jeff's brother, Rick.





	1. Chapter 1

Bare skin basking in the midnight moonlight like porcelain as the window set a gloomy mood with illumination of silver and blues for the perfomer. Breast hitching like the clashing waves of the ocean, followed by the sound of chaos that his breath let out. Hair all curled up and messy after a breezy storm of frustration, darkened through the night. Blue eyes cold and distant as the lonely moon, staring into another world. And tears dazzling like shooting stars lost in space.

Beautiful.

It wasn't the word he expected to describe his friend's brother. But there he was, admiring the wilted form of Richie from the shadows of the Grimes' kitchen.

He hadn't met the brother personally, only walked past each other, exchanged short glances as he enters Jeffrey's room or as the other would open the door for him, although the eyes would always catch his attention. For him Jeff's brother, who he came to know as Richie from the sibling's conversations, was just another plain and boring person. Studying in his room and indulging in his books rather than hanging out with his own brother.

And honestly, Negan intended it to stay a hi-hello relationship between them, because he had no interest in being friends with a smart ass, until this very moment had him say otherwise.

Richie was sitting on the counter's bar stool, drinking a carton of milk straight out of the fridge. Chugging it down like a bottle of beer, exept it wasn't. It looked so childish and innocent and so whatever problem he had wouldn't be drowned out by the bonds of lactose and fats. Negan almost felt inclined to hand him something real and very much strong. Although he didn't mind the current sight of the man, he felt a symphatetic tug in his heart.

And before he realized it, he had been staring at Richie long enough for the other to sense his presence. The other was caught in a surprise, quickly wiping away the evidence of his weakness.

"Do you need something?" The similarity of the southern accent with his brother's was nearly uncanny, although his voice was broken from the probable hours of whimpering, he held it firm, almost convincing Negan it was how it normally sounded.

"Yeah. Just wanna grab some water."

Richie nodded and got up, carrying with him the carton of milk. He wasn't just shirtless but pantless too. Wearing only a pair of fiery red boxers, Negan's favorite color, if he might add. God bless the Georgian summer heat.

The warm color gave such a big contrast to the cold ones in his eyes, so much that Negan was struggling to decide whether he should focus up or down. But before he could, Richie was already walking past him.

"Richie..." Shit. Purely out of reflex he grabbed the other's wrist, confusing both himself and Richie. He had to play it off smoothly, but fuck him. If those weren't the bluest eyes he'd ever seen and it affected him by losing his composture and his usual Negan charm.

"Is something wrong?" Richie had asked with concern. The beautiful orbs focusing on him. It was as though he plunged into the deepest ocean, his words to come muffled by the water. He forced a breath in, accepting the stinging in his lungs and he came back to himself.

"No, but are you...?" It was weak and so uncool. His words trailed off as Richie stepped closer. A warm hand touching his, he looked down but to only realize it was to move his lingering grip away.

The action was gentle as much as the smile that came after. "I'm fine, Negan." He whispered sweetly with his drawl and leaving Negan stunned as he approached the stairs. It was magical as Richie enchanted his name, did wonders he didn't know could be achieved. Like open sesame, his heart revealed a fast, uneven rhythm as he still felt the warmth prickling from his hand that slowly crept up to his cheeks.

Richie knew his fucking name. Should this mean something? Was he secretly admiring Negan from afar? Shit, he's getting over himself. Jeff probably complains about his friends everyday to Richie.

"My name's Rick, by the way. Only Jeff gets to call me Richie." And then he was left in the dark, the other having retreated to his bed with a victory. Richie, no... Rick. Rick fucking Grimes had taken Negan's heart as hostage. The Stockholm syndrome already developing for his capturer.

Negan walked over to the sink, taking a glass and filling it up half full, which he would normally consider half empty. Rick made him feel different in many ways. For one, he was thirsty as a fucking dried off plant in the Sahara.

He couldn't get Rick's image out of his head and the heat just kept on steaming.

"Rick..." Holy mother of hell, it felt smoother than drowning a fine glass of scotch, stolen from his father's cabinet. He just had to taste the name on his tongue. A perfect name for a perfect man. He kept on whispering it like a mantra, hoping to get desensitized the more he's exposed, but it only did him worse. He just couldn't get enough of him and ended up wanting more. Exactly what liquor does to one's mind and it made him ache for Rick. Wanting to see his face, smell his hair, feel his breath against his skin as he-

Fuck, he had to calm down. Breathe in and out. He had to go back to Jeff's room. Jeff, that lucky bastard. Thinking about Jeff made him remember Rick's last line.

" _Only Jeff gets to call me Richie._ "

It surely was a tease. An invitation to call him something special like Jeff does. He thought about it while ascending the steps.

Baby. Honey. Sweatheart. Handsome. Gorgeous. Puppy Wizard. Hotshot. Darling. Pumpkin. Blue eyes.

He could ponder about it all day. To just think about him. But blue eyes would definitely be his first choice. It practically describes Rick's soul. A cold stare afraid to love and keeping everyone away but deep down soft and gentle, sad and lonely, longing for someone's affection.

"Hey, Negan! What took you so long?" Dwight had asked as he entered the room.

Together with Jeff, he was sitting on the floor in front of the TV, playing video games, while Sherry sat on the edge of the bed with arms folded on top of Dwight's head. They looked up at him expectantly.

"What?" Negan smirked nervously. His voice cracking mid way as if he'd committed a crime.

"Where's my water?" Sherry said while tilting her head in question.

Fuck.

"Are you alright, dude? You're red as a tomato." Jeff added, as if it wasn't obvious enough. As if Negan hadn't felt the heat reemerging himself.

But, Fuck.

Fuckity Fuck.

He really had a crush on Jeff's brother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should really be woking on my other stories, but I just had to do this thing. I'm not sure if I should make this into a multi chaptered story, so I'm leaving you with this for now until I've decided. Thanks for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So, I've decided to continue this after all, because you all left me such lovely feedback. Thanks a bunch for that. I have no idea where this is going, so it may be slow at first but I'm excited to keep this running and I hope I can keep you all interested.

"Hey, Rick."

Negan greeted with eyes glued on the other's. It was hard to look at those blues without going slightly red, but he stood firm and confident against the door's frame. His embarrassment as well as excitement excused as the effects of the growing summer heat.

It's been a week since he saw Rick. A long dragged out week for this day to finally come and despite that, he still hasn't gotten over the fact that he had a mighty crush on Rick fucking Grimes.

A week was a long time and in the span of it, Negan made it his mission to know a little more about Rick. Asking Jeff little questions about his family in general, as to not making himself look suspicious. And as if that wasn't satisfying enough, Negan stalked Rick on social media. Clicking on every photo Rick has ever been tagged in, because he never uploaded any on his own profile.

His search for answers were a winning homerun, when he _came_ upon smiling Ricks - no dirty pun intended. He couldn't help but save a few, not all, mind you. Saving just a few of them on his phone and creating a secret folder. 'Blue Eyes' the name was, although Rick never looked straight at the camera to show off those mesmerising orbs because it had always been a stolen shot. Damn, Negan wasn't the only one who appreciated Rick this much, he should have known.

So all week long he sat in the classroom, swiping through his phone. Absentmindedly hearing the teacher's sermons as his spirit left him to be with an image of Rick.

In his paradise of budding flowers, he felt Rick in his arms blossoming with his every touch and breath. Only for his eyes to see. Creating this wonderful garden of Eden just for themselves and he could feel how the good old butterflies swarmed in his stomach.

Fuck.

He's been thinking about Rick all week long and still couldn't get enough of him. A fucking week with only Rick on his mind. What could he say?

Rick was a fucking sweet torturer and Negan a more than willing masochistic, enjoying it plenty.

"Jeff, your friend is here!" Rick had shouted a warning from the door, loud enough to travel the soulless house to reach the brother's ears up the stairs and behind doors.

Negan was a bit disappointed to not hear his name out of those thin but pouty lips. All his attempts at trying to impress him with his charm and coolness was brushed off as the other began to head for his own room. Not even giving him an up and down check, seemingly disinterested at the hidden effort Negan made to look good - hair slicked back and wearing his too hot for the weather leather jacket - and to smell good - both in breath and body.

Maybe disappointed wasn't the right word. More kind of confused and hurt, because it was only a rarity that people wouldn't check him out, whether with balls hanging between thighs or hanging on the chest. It kind of ate away at his pride of being this charming young man everybody wanted a piece of. And it almost felt as if he was being denied of his only good trait.

"Rick." Negan called out before the beauty could ascend the stairs into heaven like an angel.

Rick's head turned. Soft curls swinging along the sudden movement and flopping on his forehead. Mouth slightly parted with an exhale as his thin, blond eyebrows rose in question. How goddamned beautiful could this man get?

"Do you want to, maybe, hang out with us?" Fuck, that _maybe_ sounded so uncertain. Where was his confidence and courage when he needed it most?

"I can't." Was his short answer before disappearing with an apologetic smile. Damn, not even going to explain _why_? What a cold heartless man Rick mother fucking Grimes was. But it made Negan ache for him more, nonetheless.

Like he said, a masochist. Rick Grimes would certainly be the death of him.

He chuckled to himself while  closing the door behind him and making his way to his friend's room. Remembering what Jeff had said about his brother, ' _too tame and obedient being the perfect example of a son_ '.

And Negan just wanted to ruin Rick. Taint his innocent white soul with his own sinful black. Get him to drink beer instead of milk or maybe wine if he rather fancied that - he seemed like a classy enough guy. He wanted to mess Rick up so fucking good, that he would only come to think about Negan all day, like he did to him.

Bad idea, Negan added as an afterthought. Entering the room, taking off his jacket and sitting himself beside Dwight on the floor. Staring at the zombie game he and Jeff had been playing.

Maybe not ruin him that much, Negan continued the trail of his thought. Just a little perhaps, enough for Rick to be still functional and at the same time crave so badly for Negan that he would lose his mind. Yeah, that sounded about right.

"'Sup." Jeff greeted a little late, to focused on the game and not even taking his eyes off the screen.

"You smell awfully good today, Negan." Dwight had commented in a voice as innocently as possible, all the while smirking in mock.

Yeah, great. The wrong one noticed and Negan gave them a big huff at that. Rolling his eyes to mean no offence and he nudged Dwight's side with his elbow earning him a laughing yelp.

"Oh..." Sherry laughed and hugged his neck from the bed behind and gave him a friendly smack on the cheek. "It's ok, honey. They always come crawling right back to you in the morning."

With that the group laughed. And oh, how Negan wished that was the case with this one. But he didn't want to elaborate his situation to his friends. Especially not when the one he's hitting on was in this room's brother.

"Yeah." Negan simply replied, before taking a controller in his hand and they started the game anew.

He was shooting at the zombies now, remaining completely indifferent about the gore. Heads blasting like fireworks as red spurted on the screen. Definitely a metaphor for what he's feeling for Rick, but just in a more romantic sense.

Along the lines of, he was a mindless zombie before he met Rick and now that he smelled Rick's flesh he wanted to taste it. But of course, Rick would make it difficult for him. Shooting at him to keep him away, but that wouldn't stop Negan and Rick will soon run out of ammo so that Negan could finally make his claim.

God damn! Look at what Rick did to him. Making him think about rhetoric. Finding meaning in something that had none. It didn't even made any sense. He was still a zombie and Rick would turn into a zombie. How was that even romantic?

Negan couldn't help but chuckle at himself, earning him questioning and amused stares all at once, as though he'd lost all his marbles.

But in all honesty?

He was becoming stupidly batshit crazy inlove for a man named Rick Grimes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll get more of Rick in the next chapter ;)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still takes place at the same day as the last chapter.

" _Negan_..."

Hearing his name on Rick's tongue made him shiver. There was something in the way it left the man's lips that could send Negan straight to heaven. How it sounded soft and sweet, followed by a heart warming smile directed towards him.

Rick's attention finally on him.

Oh, how Rick fiddled with his heart. Playing him like a cello. With the low vibrations of his metal strings echoing from deep within. Rick created a tragic harmony of low and high keys with each thrust he bore, leaving Negan dry and hanging to die between the whole pauses and quickly showering him full of his own essence the next moment as the quarter notes danced around the sheets, intending to revive his spirit.

He could feel himself becoming part of a classical masterpiece of the baroque era. A perfect addition to Bach's suites of unearthly beautiful sounds that he once heard in music class. And like any masterpiece, this was all triggered by the metronome's beat per second - the ticking hand of a clock.

It was nearing midnight as Negan and his friends continued on playing. Eyes sunken in, mimicking the ones they kill. Ears ringing from the loud gun shots and swearing slurs of his tipsy friends. 

But despite all the ruckus, Negan could feel his attention drifting to the outside realm. Getting more anxious with each beat getting louder. Close to midnight, he reminded himself while looking back at the week before, when he first really laid his eyes upon the gorgeous beauty of Rick Grimes. And Negan really wished to see him - in those fiery boxers - again. 

His burning desire lead him abandon his mission of saving humanity. Preferring to be rather selfish like the asshole he's always been and letting the inexperienced Sherry take his post. He excused himself for a long smoke, not mentioning his true intentions as he exited the room and jumped down the stairs in a hurry. 

But no one was there. The kitchen empty and lonely as the cresent moon was being teamed up against the clouds. It was dark and so was his heart, desperately yearning for the light called Rick Grimes. Because it felt so good to be engulfed in his presence. To be awakened and enlightened that there was something more to feel than the emptiness he had been living in.

He sat on the stool, the one Rick had been sitting on the previous week. The warmth clearly gone but he somehow still felt it, like the small fire ants biting their way up to his cheeks from where Rick had touched him. Still there like it just happened and he so wanted to live in that moment forever if he could.

The clocked ticked, the only sound filling the room. He waited patiently with arms crossed on the counter, head resting on top of them. Hoping that Rick would eventually wake up to get some milk or whatever, so that he could see the man. But the wait dragged by endlessly and he lost hope, pulling out his phone and unlocking it, revealing the image of Rick in his home screen. A thumb brushing across the curls while staring at the brightness with a deep sigh. Closing his eyes and imagining Rick before him. 

Touching him. 

Palm caressing the smooth cheek while his thumb ran across the dry lips, parting them. And Rick had opened his mouth letting the finger wander in. Pink tongue caressing his skin. Sucking, biting and licking the intruder while those blue eyes stared at him with a sensual want. And Negan was so tempted, wanting to commit a heavenly sin. His other hand resting on Rick's neck, playing with the curls, tangled between his fingers as he pulled him closer. Their lips merely inches away as their breaths met at the center, already doing what they were supposed to do. 

" _Negan_..." Rick breathed out. So soft and sweet with a smile and it sounded so real. Like he was really there.

"Negan?" 

It came again, but this time he was awake, with the real Rick standing behind him. And it didn't sound as sweet as in his dream. It was filled with question as Rick placed his hand on Negan's shoulder. The warmth seeping through his clothes.

"Rick." He murmured with his charming smile. Not believing the man was here. 

Rick sat beside him. A glass of milk on his other hand and chugging it. A drop of white trickling down the side of his mouth. An innocent act but becoming quickly perverse in Negan's mind as he followed it down Rick's naked torso. Along the breathing chest to the trained abdomens and disappearing in contact with a pair of mysterious green boxers. 

Surely, Rick was testing his sense of control, hands already twitching beneath his arms in an attempt to keep them from touching the man. The grip on his phone getting tighter, making him remember _his_ collection of Ricks. Ah, he so badly wanted to take a picture of him. To hold on to the memory of this night.

Rick's hand left Negan's shoulder to wipe away the liquid with a satisfied nod. But the feeling of his hand print still remained. The outlines etched on his skin in a burning mark and he ought to get it tatooed, because it felt so right like it belonged there.

"What are you doing sleeping here? You had enough of Jeff's loud mouth?" Rick asked with a laugh and Negan couldn't take his eyes away from the man. A perfect laugh, made just for him and he couldn't help but to laugh with him.

"I just wanted to have a quick break from my headshot spree. Want to give those fuckers a chance to earn some points." He shrugged and smirked, giving him a playful wink. 

Rick smiled at him and a long awkward pause followed as both of them sat in silence. Negan observed the other's back in an intense gaze, trying to burn every inch of him in his memory. Like his flexing muscles with every breath. How his shoulders raised and dropped with each sound he produced. His hair softly curling at the ends, a mess that gently lay on the nape of his neck. His body, so exposed, pleading to be ravished with Negan's love.

Rick had no idea. No idea at how perfect he was. How he made Negan into this mess with a simple touch. Clueless as he looked out the window with the clock ticking away, feeling like the silence has lasted forever. While Negan perceived it as mere seconds, flying by through the speed of light, wishing it to be longer.

"Well, I'll be going back to sleep then." Rick finally said as he slowly stood up, but Negan pulled him down, not wanting him to leave. The other's wrist was locked in a cuff of Negan's hand and the pull had been strong enough to make him plump right back into the seat. Wide blue eyes scanning his brown ones in the dark, searching for answers.

"Won't you stay a bit longer? Keep me company, please." The words came out hesitantly. What he did was outright creepy and so he loosened his grip allowing Rick to run away if he wanted to, because for fuck's sake, Rick was a strong magnetic wave that kept on interrupting his transmittions from the brain to his body. Sending out wrong or uncomplete messeges - things he wasn't supposed to act on.

"Yeah, Negan. I'll stay." He whispered with a knowing smile. An expression of understanding and comfort. Negan's chest tightened, almost couldn't breathe. Fuck, Rick knew exactly when to call his name.

And so they sat there under the moonlight, the clouds driven away by the wind. Negan's hand still on Rick's wrist. And Rick didn't mind. Didn't bother to remove the hand like the first night, allowing Negan to let it slide further down. To interlock their hands in a sweaty embrace. He was pushing his luck but Rick didn't flinch, just gave him a friendly smile. Because surely he didn't see Negan as a man, just saw him as a pitiful friend of his younger brother, who was needing attention.

But still, that didn't prevent Negan from falling inlove a little bit more with Rick Grimes.

 


	4. Chapter 4

A quick brush against Rick's flushed cheek and then another, making the man turn his head in shyness. Blue eyes hidden beneath soft curls and adding shadow to his perfectly sun-kissed skin under the bright yellow light of the day. But it didn't matter how much Rick looked away, though, because Negan could still see every detail that made him into the man he loved. 

Every pore and every strand of hair painted into perfection by design. Flowing smoothly down his head like a river and creating a great balance with the hard edges of his jaw. The lines bridging to his facial features. Lips curving like the crescent base of a boat and nose serving as the sail. The growing stubble symbolizing the fertile soil surrounding the river, where grass has grown. Fishes jumping from the fresh water as his ears peaked out of his hair. Rick was the perfect personification of harmonic equilibrium between man and nature itself. 

Ever since that faithful night, he has seen the world differently. Looked at things from a different perspective - through a pair of pink colored heart shaped glasses of love. So he came to appreciate small things more, like the chirping nestlings outside. Singing with their high pitched voices for their mother's affection, like a choir would sing to God and like he would want to sing in worship for Rick. Heck, even the sun was smiling down at him, giving him warmth for finding someone whom he was infatuated with. Someone to obsess with. 

Shit! He wasn't getting any better from his ' _disease_ ' called Rickus Grimesis. But finding a cure wasn't exactly his goal. What he wanted was for his body to accept the intruding antigen. To welcome it with open arms and let it plunder his every cell to become an entirely new being and he could already feel himself evolving. Becoming one with Rick Grimes. 

"Houston, we have a problem. Captain Negan is not responding!" Dwight mimicked the crackling of a radio while trying so hard not to snicker. 

"Do not engage with subject. I repeat: Do not engage with subject. Captain Negan has been compromised." Came the response of Jeffrey in his serious southern drawl - nowhere near the sexiness of his brother's - all the while smiling with his - definitely not as blue - eyes. 

Negan refused to look at their mocking faces of teasing for too long, thus giving them only the middle finger while he continued on scrolling through Rick's new tagged photos, downloading some of them - or if he's being honest to himself, all of them - while he's at it. 

It's been like this for almost a week now, him just staring at images of Rick. Memorizing every detail his face has to offer and if Negan only had the talent, he would have painted a whole lot of portraits of the man. Because his power of imagination was getting much stronger since he started to visualize him to be standing before him. Dare say, making Rick do _things_. 

Things that should be better kept in the deepest parts of his mind because of how fucking dirty they were. Dirtier than that shit stained sole of an old stinking shoe that was dumped beside a pool of vomit. It wasn't exactly his fault that his mind kept going there - to the pervy stuff. It just naturally did, especially when he's alone in his bedroom. And the reactions he got from further south added fuel to the blazing heat he felt from _his_ imaginary Rick's touches. 

He was going to hell. Oh, yes. Most definitely. He could already see the demons preparing a pot to cook him in. But he didn't regret any minute of thinking about Rick in such a way. No shame for lusting everyday over motherfucking beautiful blue eyed Rick Grimes. Not at all, not even that part where he satisfied himself thinking it was Rick's smaller than his hand or hot and wet mouth doing the work. Oh god, the view was a mighty one too. Electrocuting him with the lightning of his blue eyes. His lips red and pouty as it warped around his little Negan. Sucking at it like it was the most delicious lollipop he had ever tasted. It made him hard just thinking about it. A guilty pleasure, he must admit. 

"Are you even listening... earth to Negan?" 

"He's too far gone to whatever he's smiling like an idiot about, Jeff." 

"What's he even looking at anyway?" 

And before Negan could reply that it's none of their business, his phone was grabbed out of his hand with both Dwight and Sherry inching closer to Jeff. Visually becoming a three headed snake with their poisonous curiosity. 

There was a moment of silence between them and Negan just wanted to jump out of the window from embarrassment as they slowly looked up at him with tongues dangerously sticking out of their mouths accompanied with the widening of the lips like that of the Cheshire cat's. All smug and knowing about Negan's little secret. 

"He sure fell head over heels for Rick. I mean look at this... he has a whole collection." Sherry broke the long pause with her conclusion. Making Negan redder than he could ever get. It was one thing saying it in his mind, but another when it was verbally expressed by a friend.

"This explains his strange behavior lately." Dwight added with a snap of his finger as a deduction to Sherry's accusation. 

"Yeah, yeah." Jeff nodded in agreement, a hand placed on his chin in deep thought. "His midnight smokes and then coming back all red. I should have known that our Cinderella was meeting his prince charming." 

"Well, I couldn't blame him. Your brother is a real hotty, Jeff." Dwight feigned a cough at Sherry's comment and it made her smile. Hugging him and showering her boyfriend with little kisses on both cheeks. "But of course, you're more handsome, Baby." 

"So how long has this been going on between you two? Rick never told me." Jeff leaned forward in interest while handing Negan his cellphone back. 

"Well, it's because we aren't..." He trailed off, looking out the window to the chirping nestlings. The mother taking her children under her wings to keep them warm. The loving manner reminded him of how Rick was to him. How he returned Negan's sweaty squeeze with one of his own. "...aren't a thing, yet." 

Oh, how he wished to hold Rick forever in his arms. To feel the warm skin against his cold one. Melting him to a puddle of an unrecognizable mess.  
  
"Why not just ask him out?" 

At that, Negan chuckled. Rick didn't even spare him a glance when he came in all hot looking the other week. "I want to, but I think your brother is as straight as a fucking rod."  
  
"I'm not sure about that... he's pretty open to many things. And let's face it Negan, you're charming as hell, you always get what you want. I'm sure with a little persuading, Rick will be on board your ghost ship." 

A smile on Negan's face grew. He's hearing this, right? He might just have a chance to the big brother's heart and little brother is pro Negan. That's an advantage he will surly use to get closer to Rick. "Are you give me your blessing, Jeff?"

"What does it sound like?" He snorted and gave Negan a playful punch to keep the shit eating grin from swallowing up his whole face. 

"It sounds like the beginning of this period boys." Accompanied by the bell of the afternoon class, the teacher interrupted every conversation as she walked in the room. A thick history book slammed on the table for emphasizes as she settled down at the teacher's desk. 

Everyone in class started to fumble back to their seats as the teacher started the lesson. Picking up from where they last left off, she wrote something on the board, which everyone was copying. Except for Negan, of course. He had always needed a special invitation to start doing things. 

And at the moment he was more preoccupied with the swiping of his phone screen and absentmindedly listening to the sound of chalk scratching the board, still being half attentive when to hide his phone between his ball sack. 

He was looking at Rick's profile. Thumb hovering over the grey 'friend' button, begging to be colored blue like the man's eyes. For days, he had been considering whether he should add Rick to his list, because on one hand he really wanted to, but on the other, felt kind of awkward asking for a request. This would be the first time where he has to add someone himself and it made him nervous because Rick was, after all, not really his friend, but just a person he inevitably meets during his visits at Jeff's. What if he misinterpreted Rick's kindness.

To hell with it! Negan wouldn't be Negan if he wasn't shameless and bold. They are going to pop each other's cherries in one way or another and even if he's going to get ignored, at least he tried. So, he sent the request with his heart pumping like crazy. Embarrassed at how big of a deal he's making this out of. And not one minute later his phone vibrated with a notification stating that Rick fucking Grimes accepted his friend request. He was so high in happiness. Giggling as he hugged his phone, not minding the curious eyes of his classmates. Not even caring that his phone was confiscated by the teacher and going to have to sit through detention right after. To that Sherry laughed, nudging Dwight's side and giving him conformation to her conclusion from earlier, that Negan was most definitely head over heels for Rick.

What could he possibly do? Rick Grimes was just worth any kind of trouble. 


	5. Chapter 5

The weekend arrived much longer than anticipated. That had always been the case when something was waiting and Negan just didn't have the patience in him, almost tempted to ambush Rick in his own house. But nonetheless, he forced himself to behave, although the longer the nights had dragged out, the more uncertain he had become of what he was going to say to Rick.

So far he had imagined more than a million scenarios about how he was going to ask him out and the majority of the time he was either slapped, kicked or punched. His feelings belittled for whatever reason. But of course, Negan knew Rick would never do such a thing. Right?

Perhaps it was just because Rick was a little different from all the others that he had trouble seeing this work out for the both of them. Negan was just too wild for the well behaved Rick Grimes. Polar opposites of each other, but that made the whole thing even more attractive because they could 'complete each other' as the saying went. Yeah, that sounded about right. Rick the cowboy could be the first to tame the wild horse in him. Ride him up so good with that sexy as fuck southern accent so that Negan _might not_ \- and by that he meant will absolutely not - want any other cowboy riding him. He could totally see that happening metaphorically and literally.

But of course, nothing goes as planned, nothing ever does in life. Rick fucking Grimes wasn't home, at the door he was greeted by his dead eyed friend, looking as lazy as ever in his homey get up. God, Negan's always amazed at how different these brothers were, except for the accent.

"Where's Rick?"

"Friends. Something about group study."

"Oh." Negan let out, sounding more disappointed than he intended to. Because why the fuck not? He'd been waiting for this since forever and now Rick was just going to leave him with his dick hanging.

" _Oh_." Jeffrey mocked with humor, having noticed Negan's tone. "Chill your tits, Negan. He's coming back for your little rendezvous."

"He fucking better be."

"He said ten."

Negan checked his phone. Roughly five more painful hours to go. It would definitely feel like a lifetime. And it did. Negan sat between a playing Jeff and Dwight while Sherry played with his short hair from the bed above. It had only been two long boring hours since he'd arrived. He was getting sick of this, so he got up and told them he'd be outside puffing smoke. That was ten minutes out of the way but still not enough.

So he was still left with what... one hundred and fifty-eight minutes of doing nothing. But fuck, that sounded like a long time. Two hours and a half or so - he wasn't really good in Math - but that didn't sound any better.

Rick, oh Rick! How could he? How could he make Negan feel this way? Feeling so empty without him. And it seemed like the whole house lost its light with his absence too. It looked so dim and lifeless.

The living room an abandoned base which used to be filled with his laughter as colorful comedic lights played on the now black screen. The kitchen utensils feeling lonely without his elegant touch, missing their life's purpose of preparing food for the hungry and the fridge getting colder, becoming more depressed as no blue eyes came to check on its inside, its contents in a jumble. The walls were getting paler by the second, cracking and shaking with fear to be left alone by his warmth. Picture frames hanging crooked, rocking on the edge of their nails, the wait becoming almost unbearable to keep them still.

Negan sighed in defeat, nothing could fill the void at that moment. Not even the pictures worked, for he wanted the real thing before him.

He slowly made his way up the stairs, hands gliding at the wooden handrail and feeling every dent and scratch in hopes that Rick made at least one of them, seeking for a momentary connection which left him disoriented, for his time and space had abandoned the laws of physics as the stairs had become seemingly endless during his ascent. Gravity pulling at him harder with every step. Arriving slump and breathless, heaving a heavy sigh on the top as he looked at Jeff's door.

A door which held a handful of typical teenage secrets, none of which he hadn't already discovered. Jeffery was a simple guy with simple needs, had a variety of pink porn magazines stocked beneath the mattress and DVD's inserted between pages in a bookshelf filled with sci-fi books. If Jeffrey had one good trait about him that Negan loved, that would be his taste in women - like cheese, the older the better, they were the ones with more experience and knew exactly how to properly please a growing man. And it made Negan wonder, looking at Rick's door on the other end of the hallway, what secrets did his room hide?

Probably - hopefully - some cowboy magazines with dudes looking a lot like Negan himself. Oh god, the idea that Rick would touch himself while looking at the look-a-likes was turning him so on. He had to stand still for a moment and think of something disgusting to prevent the act of indecency in public. While at the same time his curiosity and want got him inching closer to Rick's room, noticing that the door creaked open in invitation and for a split second he believed that Rick was home but the whispering wind gave it all away. Whispering sweetly for him to come inside and explore all its undiscovered secrets.

He looked back to Jeff's door, blue dancing light slipping under it. They won't miss him for another century. So Negan decided to take a quick, tiny peek inside Rick's room.

His head was only half inside and yet he was already attacked by Rick's unique smell of strong mints which was mixed together with the musty smell of earth and old books with an underlying tang of vanilla and cinnamon.

It was dark but not quite, the full moon made sure that Negan could see without turning the lights on. The first thing that he noticed was Rick's bed. White sheet tucked under the mattress with no crease, blanket neatly folded at the edge and pillows gently leaning on the headboard. Rick was either a well-mannered teenager, if not, a perfectionist. So, God help him for what he was about to do. Negan had the strong urge to dive into it, which knowing him, he obviously couldn't contain for too long.

He laid on Rick's bed, hugging Rick's pillow and smelling Rick's blanket. The scent calming and arousing. This was where Rick would sleep, where Rick would chill, where Rick would fuck, where they would...

"Rick..." Negan breathed out as he imagined himself towering over Rick's naked body on this very bed.

Fuck! How did his hand end up on his dick. He wanted to stop - honestly! - but it just felt so good being in Rick's room, the person he's in love with.

It amplified Negan's imagination tremendously. To hear Rick with his sweet, sexy voice. To smell Rick with a scent so intoxicating. To see Rick in all his godly glory, exposing his dirtiest secret as he settled in the most obscene position before Negan's feet. And to feel Rick in all those delicate spots which most certainly felt like heaven on earth.

The tension was building up deep inside him, desperate to find relief in his action. He stroked faster, a crescendo of wet sounds echoing in the dark room. His breathing following in whole notes the rhythm of the short, bursting eighth notes of skin slapping. A satisfying beat for an amateur which lead to an abrupt transition to the climactic end of the piece. The vowel 'a' sung by his full baritone voice, straining to reach the tenor with his release.

The aftermath wasn't something he had thought of before. But now, looking at his work, maybe he should have. In all his entire existence, Negan hadn't once made his bed properly appealing to anyone. He just didn't know how.

With little more than an hour left on the clock before Rick's arrival, he washed his hands, getting rid of his sticky release. He started to flatten out the sheets, getting rid of the wrinkles he had inflicted. But then all of his blood drained from his face, as he felt that same sticky feeling on his hands all over again. Fuck! He spilled quite a lot...

If Negan was bad at anything, that would be handling his shit during dire situations. He panicked, running in circles not knowing what to do until the concept of tissues occurred to him. He rubbed away the mess as good as he could, but the evidence had already soaked and dried into the sheets during his frenzy. The strong nutty like smell still remained hanging with manly pride just like his stubbornness. Negan had dug his own grave. All he could do now was pray to all Gods in heaven for a little mercy as he continued to make the bed of what will be his inevitable demise.

He left the room, but not without a souvenir. This might be the last time he will get to step inside Rick's room or for that matter inside this house at all. Neatly folded and gently tucked between his pants and boxers was Rick's used blue ones. Emphasis on _used_ , because if he was bold enough to jerk off in Rick's bed, then he might as well be bold enough to steal a pair of used boxers from Rick's laundry hamper.

Just as he was closing Rick's door, Negan heard the click of the front door opening and he hurried to the other side of the corridor, to Jeff's door so it would seem as though he came out to get some water. He walked down the stairs, meeting Rick in the middle.

"Hey, Negan." Rick greeted with tired eyes but there was a small curve of happiness forming on each side of his lips.

The space was too small for two people to walk side by side. They were so close to each other, shoulders grazing as they walked past each other face to face. Eyes staring into the other's in a silent communication of cryptic codes which neither could yet comprehend.

"Hey, Rick." Negan finally replied as Rick disappeared from his sight, down the hallway. Not having noticed that the slow motion only played in his head. His mind already prepared for the worse, savoring every moment it could spend with Rick.

Regret wasn't a word that Negan used that much often, nor would he use it for this situation because, to be honest, Negan never had a chance with Rick to begin with and this was as close as he could get with ever being with Rick.

Or so he had thought.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the previous chapter: Negan jizzed in Rick's bed, stole one of his USED dirty boxers and is proud of it!

Tick. Tock.

The mechanical hand moving with precise precision at three millimeters per tick. The sound of it was deafening and annoying as much as it was terrifying. Like a horror movie, it drowned everything out leaving just the ticks and tocks to be exchanged by each other, the suspense building in a loop of no end and with it, his heart grew anxious, ready to burst every second as the ticks were replaced by tocks and the tocks by ticks.

Tick. Tock.

It was driving him crazy, mocking him like the disappointing clicking of a tongue and the sound of it only grew louder as it hit past their rendezvous at midnight. A tickling feeling in his palms as sweat began to gather from the center to the tips, mixing with the cool water droplets of the slowly warming bottle of beer. And the sweat just made him more anxious, fingers twitching, fidgeting around the half-empty bottle to calm his nerves but to no avail because Rick motherfucking Grimes was nowhere to be seen.

Fuck!

The sinking feeling of suspicion slowly turning to confirmation. Rick knew, definitely knew about Negan's trespassing because why else wouldn't he be at their rendezvous point? Rick had never been late before and that got Negan thinking of how Rick was preparing tools to torture Negan, of how he would beat him bloody and half-dead only to be found the next day by Jeff or Dwight perhaps even Sherry, bless her innocent soul.

But physical violence wasn't his real concern, for that he could mostly survive. What he feared most was to see the pain of betrayal etched on Rick's face, broken sobs of hateful chants and prohibiting Negan from ever setting foot into the house or anywhere near him ever again.

Fucking fuck!

Negan knew he shouldn't have done it, their bright future ruined because of his idiotic stunt. He's regretting it now. Oh yes, he's come to regret what he deemed unregrettable. The power Rick Grimes had on him was just so fucking strong to make even him, the confident and charming Negan, doubt himself and now the regret had him worried. The worry gave him pain and with the pain came along anger. The thought of Rick coming to hate him sank deeper, like a seed growing roots, sucking away all his happiness in return for sprouting salty leaflets called tears.

Single tears coming to full bloom and withering away into his palms. Lips quivering like twigs on a windy night as he silently gasped for air from his tightened throat. He couldn't bare not seeing Rick. From those beautiful blue eyes to his lovely pink smile, he wouldn't be able to breathe or think without those heavenly gifts. His days would become dull and miserable. He would be walking among the masses like a dead man.

' _I hate you_ _._ '

He could already hear Rick saying and it hurt the more he thought about the possibility of it becoming said. Stupid fucking Negan, it would probably be best to cut his dick off and offer it to Rick as an apology, that way he could guarantee that it would never happen again. But fickity fuck, if he wasn't afraid of that too. He loves his manhood which he's very much proud of and he could never part ways with it, could never do that to his little one.

But why would Rick even want his dick as an apology anyway? It was after all its fault for being hard and dumb. His hand's fault for listening to his lower brain. Maybe Rick would understand the difficulties of resisting the urge to spill the seeds in your crush's bed. Surely he'll understand, he's a man too after all! But who in the hell would want someone else's jizz in their bed? Unless he's into that...

Negan's brain was burning up, thinking too complicated for such things, thinking too much about the whole situation. It was just the alcohol making him think like this, making him worry about nothing because, surely, how could Rick possibly notice that he did  _that_  in his bed. Yeah, probably just the alcohol, it was his sixth already and he was still so damn thirsty. Fuck it! He needed more to numb his thoughts, so he chugged the bottle of beer and grunted as the last drop fell on his tongue. He was about to stand up to get a new one, but upon doing so he spotted a silhouette in the dark corner of the kitchen.

Those curls...

"Rick." A soft whisper, the name lingering in his mouth - washing away his thirst - and fading quietly into the dark. Negan quickly wiped away the tears that fell from his eyes while Rick remained standing in silence until Negan stared back at him. Appearing from the shadows, the moonlight shone directly on his blues, like the first night it was reflecting the whole universe, all-knowing and beautiful like a starry sky but this time it was sparkling with concern instead of worry.

"Everything alright, Negan?" The voice was rough and raw, something he never heard before. Rick knew. Just the thought led him to slump back into the chair. There was silence and staring, Rick was waiting for him to confess. It shouldn't have been hard but imaginary Rick's words didn't help ease things up. ' _So disgusting_ ', it kept echoing. He didn't want Rick to hate him. Not when Rick finally noticed him.

He gulped, opened his mouth to say something but nothing would come out and he started tearing up again. His head bowed and hands gripping his aching chest. "I'm sorry." A repeated whisper as he sobs and wipes away the tears with his sleeves. Trying desperately to stop. "Please don't hate me, too." His voice cracked - more of an ugly howl than anything else - and had sounded so broken and hurt like his world had just crumbled to dust.

Rick hesitantly approached him and sat beside him. A warm hand gingerly rubbing his back soothingly. Up and down, up and down, slowly gathering back the pieces together. Warming him with an act of kindness that Negan will keep in memory and cherish. "Shhh... It's alright, Negan." Rick definitely knew, but despite that, he gently cupped Negan's face, helping him wipe away the tears and combing his fingers through Negan's messy hair. Treating him like the child that he was, but Negan didn't mind, at least Rick would still notice him. Treat him with consideration and that would be enough for him as long as he gets to see him forever. But for how long would Rick tolerate him? Rick will grow tired of his behavior eventually and what will happen then?

Negan stuttered something gibberish, not knowing how to explain but trying to. Anything to convince Rick that he was sorry. Pleading to the man without facing him, couldn't with how guilty he felt and he kept looking down to his sinful hand as it bared its white knuckles on his trembling thighs.

"Look at me."

Negan couldn't breathe, the hands of guilt chocking out his air but he did finally look - forced himself to - as Rick's hand guided him sweetly to his eyes. The death grip on his neck disappearing, suddenly able to breathe again when Rick gave him a shining bright smile and it seemed as though all his worries have dissolved with it, replaced by comfort and assurance. His sobs stilled as did Rick's hand on his face and that moment alone was enough for Negan to reach for it, holding it in his. Pleading Rick to touch him more and he did. Thumb caressing the edge of Negan's nose, down to his lip, where Rick's eyes remained focused on. They were so close to each other and Rick slowly leaned forward. He felt Rick's minty breath ghost on his face, the warm exhale giving him goosebumps around his neck. His eyes fluttered shut as Rick's did first.

Negan's heart started to rush, blood pumping fast, hearing the beats inside his ears like tiny explosions. So many questions were swarming Negan's head like an unsettled beehive, but he didn't have time to think about them, for his wet lips were cooled when Rick's touched them. The softness of his lips moving against Negan's rough ones. The bitterness of alcohol burning their tongues but slowly it turned sweeter with each exchange of soft touches. Gently teasing, caressing each other with shyness as they moved together in delicate harmony - afraid to shatter their moment of passion - catching each other's breath like they were made for each other.

" _I love you, Negan._ "

The kiss felt so real, yet none of that happened - an illusion of his drunken mind. What he felt instead was the feeling of Rick's forehead against his. The tips of their noses barely touching each other. Of course, it was simply meant to be a friendly gesture, a comforting touch and Negan had thought about it as something more and it embarrassed him as he opened his eyes to see Rick staring at him with calm, thankfully not seeming to have noticed what Negan really had in mind.

"You know, this is what Shane would do to calm me down." He said as his hand wandered on Negan's nape, stroking his hair in an easing manner as he smiled understandingly. "You'll be fine, Negan. Even if you might think that the world is cruel for now, one day you'll come to know happiness once again, maybe with someone new or someone who has always been waiting for you to notice them. But know that you can confide in me, I am always here to give you comfort."

Rick didn't know...

Of course, how could he possibly know?

' _Thank, God_.' Negan was just so relieved that he couldn't help tearing up again as he clutched onto Rick's hand like he's his last salvation from the painful reality. Rick slowly pulled him into a much-needed hug, his arms snaking around Negan's body and letting Negan's head rest on his bare shoulder as he continued to tear up. Rick felt so warm and soft - a pillow of flesh - and Negan couldn't help but smile as he hid it in the nook of Rick's neck. Inhaling the sweetness of Rick fucking Grimes. God, he smelled like flowers and sunshine, so pure and innocent. What he would do to stay like this forever, held in safety of Rick's strong arms. Not wanting to waste this precious moment, Negan hugged tighter, fingers tracing Rick's bare back, finally feeling every little bone behind the smooth muscles that he once adored from afar. Feeling every twitch and arch of his body as Negan's fingers wandered up and down the curves and dents. Feeling every hitching breath and squirming movement.

That's when he heard Rick laugh, the cute giggling captured Negan by surprise making him feel all bubbly on the inside as he listened to it. The bubbles popping and giving him sweet aches in his heart, making him smile all the more. But when Rick began to move away from Negan's touch, for a moment, he thought he did something wrong, fortunately, Rick's eyes only showed mirth. Answering his unspoken question with one careful glance and Negan's tongue darted out in interest, drinking up what Rick was unintentionally offering him. Wanting to do more. Wanting to tease him. Making him succumb into Negan's loving, sweet touches. "I'm a little ticklish back there." He said with his ears tainted red and getting redder by the second, creeping all the way from his face to his chest - his nubs, dare say standing out all pink too. Eyelashes downcast to cover his watery blues and lips parted that gave quiet labored breaths.

Or maybe he was just imagining everything up again with his drunken mind, having only seen a quick second of Rick as he immediately stood up with his back turned to Negan to open the fridge. He's definitely embarrassed about it and Negan couldn't help but silently chuckle, feeling light-hearted to see Rick all flustered and fumbling with the carton of milk as he drank from it.

"Thank you, Rick." Negan had whispered. Sincerity coming from his mouth for the first time in ages.

"Sure thing, Negan." Rick huffed out playfully with a smile, rolling his eyes at Negan's silent laugh. His body was now leaning against the counter invitingly. The edges of his body shining cool blue from the fridge's light. He looked beautiful standing there, like a statue of an ancient Greek God made to honor and adore. Mighty and wise yet kind and forgiving. Were Negan living in the past, he would have had no problem worshipping such an entity, would have even sacrificed himself to be with such a being. Rick Grimes was for him the definition of perfection, his only desire, everything he ever wanted in his life. His beginning and ultimate end.

"Sorry. I couldn't be much help to you..." This was Rick's way of saying good night and Negan understood. Rick was a busy man with a mind only for studies, he would never have a chance. But that was alright, as long as he could see Rick for the rest of his life. He doesn't mind. No, not at all, was what he wanted to believe.

"No, I feel much better now. You should go back to sleep." Negan lied, truthfully wishing Rick to stay longer. But what kind of a man would he be to disrupt Rick's slumber? He shouldn't be selfish all the time.

"Yeah." The word trailed off as did Rick's figure into the dark, the steps faintly disappearing unto the stairs. "See you around, Negan." With that Rick vanished, like a ghost, hard to prove he has ever been there except for the empty carton of milk left behind on the counter.

Negan shoved his bottle of beer aside, replacing it with Rick's empty carton. Holding it where Rick's hand had left a warm mark. Held the opening against his lips, tasting nothing but the milk and feeling nothing but the cold, wet plastic, nothing like Rick's soft lips as he had imagined it. An invisible connection between their lips, not real but yet also not deniable. It was Rick's waste but this was Negan's love.

"Yeah, I love you too, Rick..."


End file.
